Treadmill Hate #1: Attack of the Barking Spiders

Over the past couple of weeks I have had to up my treadmill mileage. I run during the day when I have the kids as there is no way I am taking them out in thirty degree cold. It is just not going to happen. Consequently, I take to the treadmill. I have no doubt come across a number of reasons that running on the treadmill is a total bummer, but I will present them one by one.

Reason #1: Barking Spiders

Almost anyone who has ever gone for a run has at some point stepped on one of those elusive North Eastern Barking Squirrels. For some of us it is a fairly common occurrence to startle a flock of Ghost Ducks. Luckily, when we are running outside, we quickly leave the dangers of these reclusive, potentially dangerous, animals and continue on our way without so much as a backward glance.

Recently, running on the treadmill, I discovered that my house seems to have an infestation of Barking Spiders. My daughter was sleeping and I was trying to run as quietly as possible on a slapping rubber belt when I first heard them over the hum of the treadmill motor. They started out quietly and somewhat infrequently, but as I ran more (can you say further when you are on a treadmill?) their attacks became more noticeable - louder and closer together. Unlike attacks by Barking Squirrels and Ghost Ducks, you can not outrun Barking Spiders. They pass on their own.

Sometimes, on an indoor track the Barking Spiders will attack and you might pass them again on the next lap; on a treadmill, they stick with you. It would seem (although rather unscientifically) that Barking Spiders are more odiferous than their distant cousins the Barking Squirrels but this is all based on speculation. The treadmill makes these odors worse. The stale air only circulates around the belt and whips back around to penetrate the nostrils.

On the positive side, when the Barking Spiders get too much on the treadmill, at least their is a bathroom near-by. When the Barking Squirrels get too much and it is winter outside...